As I have previously stated, Good evening ladies and gentlemen of Tumblr.
Now comes the obligatory “I’m drunk” post; a post I’ve often scoffed, yes, scoffed, at when other Tumblrs have created it previous. But my how things change when you are inebriated by the poison, hmm?
So, as already mentioned, I am drunk and quite so at that! It may shock you that my spelling and grammar are not that of your usual drunk, but so is the way of Alan. You may be asking yourself, “just what does Alan drink, anyways?” Well, the answer to that is Whiskey on the rocks. It may surprise you that I use no mixer or chaser and surprising it is! Why when I first started drinking I used no such things because I was not versed in the ways of drinking, you see. And so this is how it has always been for me and I shall change nothing of it.
My how the world seems a better place when you’re on the poison (and poison it is! I imagine my liver has a few choice words it would like to say to me right about now!). You see, I’m the type to tell everyone just how happy I am to know them, and happy I am! Exclamation mark! I digress. Everything seems to be a lot more uplifting, everyone is a lot more chipper and thoughts flow out of one mouth easier (for better or for worse, at that).
I was about to send a few emails to people expressing my appreciation for our acquaintance but then realised (or “realized” for my American friends) that I had sent emails to them previous and I do not wish to inundate their email boxes with messages from me as I am quite sure they have more interesting communique to read!
One such person is someone I deem to be a Flapper. I was quite delighted to sit down to tea (although she did not order tea!) the other day in downtown Toronto. She is quite the interesting person, I must say so myself. Quite the fashion sense, musical taste, humour (or “humor” for my American friends) and brains (my how she has intellect!). Dare I say that she is not hard on the eyes? Dare I say, dare I say.
Another would be Cat! Hello Cat. We have become unlikely friends through this magical service known as Tumblr. Sorry, spell check, I have spelled “Tumblr” correctly even though you wish to advise me differently. Anyways, Cat owns a clothing shoppe (or “store” for my American friends) on Queen and I think you should all frequent it. Also frequent the antique shoppe (see: store) next door to her shoppe (see: store) as it is quite the place. Cat is quite the character and beautiful! My how she is beautiful! She has many interesting stories to tell, many interesting stories indeed. (She is also quite funny).
I wish to also say hello to my friend in Ottawa Megan. Although I may not email like I use to I am still wishing her the best in her endeavours (or “endeavors” for my American friends). She is quite beautiful as well! Interesting how I am among some of the most beautiful people of Tumblr, hmm? Come to think of it she is also very intelligent and so is Cat for that matter. Is it possible that Tumblr (I’m telling you, spell check, I have it right!) attracts the beautiful and intelligent among us? My experience tells me so.
I don’t know where I was going with this post so it would probably be in my best interest to wrap things up and do something less rambley (I’ll give you that one, spell check, I’ll give you that one) with my time.
I do hope that everyone out there has a wonderful evening. If I didn’t mention you in the aforementioned text I would like to extend my deepest heartfelt apologies (or “ehhh, go fuck yourself” for my Brooklyn friends).
Yours sincerely,
Alan
