December 2010
2 posts
A question I received
Over on my other blog I was asked what my most controversial opinion is. Seeing how I can’t transfer it over to here and because I don’t want to mix the two blogs, I’ll answer it here and hope the person who asked sees it.
The most controversial opinion I hold, I think, would be population control.
I believe we should try and limit how many kids people are pumping out because...
I hate the city: Or, how I learned we don't always...
I hate the city. I hate everything about it. I hate that I have to take the subway, at a round trip cost of six dollars, to get to the nearest green-space. I hate that even though this is the largest city in Canada the only fun to be had costs money. I hate that I have yet to get past the interview stage even though I have a vast amount of experience. I hate the traffic, the crowding, the noise,...
November 2010
1 post
I love when an anti-corporation type, who’s talking about how much they hate evil corporations like Wal-Mart, sparks up a cigarette they bought from a corporation whose only purpose is to make billions of dollars from selling a product that kills people.
July 2010
1 post
I hung out with terrible people or: How I learned...
It had been a custom of mine to donate money to the local food-bank (that is, a place where people who can not afford food can go in order to get food so that they do not starve to death) every time I grocery shopped. It was always done so without telling anyone, minus the cashier, as I feel that anonymous charity is the greatest form of charity. I say it had been a custom of mine because...
June 2010
1 post
So I finally warmed up to my girlfriend’s hippie friend/roommate.
That was all lost, however, when I spent a week visiting and people kept coming and going from the apartment (it is VERY hard to watch the series finale of Lost when people keep knocking on the door, coming in and us all having to go through the “hello, how are you”s). I learned that -gasp!- hippie is a drug...
April 2010
2 posts
I met my girlfriend’s hippie roommate for the first time.
I dislike!
She wakes up and the first thing I heard her do is spark up a bong. Right out of bed. Then she got breakfast and hit another one. After showering and getting dressed she does more. She then rolled about 6 joints, put them in her purse and went out. How can someone live like this?
Not to mention she is insanely good at...
Allow me to vent a little...
I have a girlfriend. I’ve had a girlfriend for about three months and things have gotten quite serious. It’s gotten so serious that we have said the ‘L’ word to each other and neither of us felt it was odd to say it.
Things have been going quite well, that is, things were going quite well until she, along with her roommates and now friends of mine, moved into the city.
...
March 2010
1 post
For the first time in my 23 years I have a girlfriend and she’s coming over for dinner to meet the family. I should probably be nervous or something but I’m more concerned over whether or not Corey Haim’s family is going to be able to afford his funeral.
Not really.
But seriously, folks, I’m slow witted so I probably won’t get nervous until after the dinner.
February 2010
3 posts
A Conservative Tumblog: Why Gay Marriage Should... →
Now, in an argument about gay marriage, here is the jist of what I’ll usually hear from uneducated liberal nutjobs:
…
Wow! Where to start?
Gays have been getting married for many years. It was 13 years ago I went to a wedding with my parents for one of their gay friends. The Unitarian Church…
Yeah! Canada allowed gay marriage, recognised by the government, way back in 2003 and...
Ahem.
Hi Tom.
I didn’t know you would be able to see this blog as well. Boy do I have egg on my face!
Anyways…
The reason I came in here to-day is to tell y’all to check out Willie Nelson’s version of Amazing Grace. I think it’s the most fitting version of the song I’ve heard yet as his raspy voice adds to the message of redemption to the song. You can...
Okay, okay, okay…
I’m freaking out right now.
Tomoatmeal just started following me and I’m freaking out. I think his comedy is the best and the fact that he’s following me back after almost a year of following him really has me freaking out.
I know I sound like a huge nerd right now but… HOLY CRAP!
January 2010
3 posts
So here's a half-assed attempt at an update
So here are some things that have happened recently:
Started learning the guitar and I’m getting pretty good at it!
Met new friends which I hang out with quite a bit.
Met a girl
Started dating said girl
Said girl understands asexuality thing
Applied to university!
Looking at apartments in Toronto and think I’ve found a good one in a fantastic neighbourhood. More details as this...
Oh man!
I’ve been ignoring this one for awhile, haven’t I?
I’m sorry, guys!
I promise to start posting here semi-regularly for those still interested in the personal life of Tumblr’s most hilarious blogger*!
*This is in no way true.
Also, who else would marry the shit out of Ohno-Megan?
Tumblr, I may have met a girl that digs asexuality.
We got to talking on New Years and through the course of conversation we got on the topic of sexual orientations, I brought up asexuality and she said that, like bi-sexuality, if she met someone she liked that was asexual she would completely understand and it would be a welcome change as she wouldn’t have to worry about all the sexual...
December 2009
13 posts
Thank you, you two!
Curiosity surely killed the cat, didn’t it?
You still had faith in humanity? I envy you.
I know this might be morbid but… (Read in a whiny voice)
What’s everyone talking about? I feel like I’m out of the loop. Someone talked about suicide on their blog and Tumblr went nuts and now I want to read this post. Why do you all get to read it and I don’t? This isn’t fair. You all get to be in the know about something and I missed out :(
Question?
1 tag
My year (because everyone else is doing it)
Made a friend who became my “bestie.”
Quit my awful job after two years of promising to do so. Although I may have days of depression caused by my unemployment it is nothing in comparison to the stress I endured at my job. And hey, I have more time for Tumblr!
Devoted a lot of time attempting to better my photography skills.
Got back into writing whether it be private notes or on...
I know I joke about running for Mayor in my region but I’m actually serious about this. The election isn’t until November 2010 so I have a lot of time to scour the internet and delete any pictures or posts which could be incriminating (thank GOD).
I intended on running in the last election but completely forgot to get 50 signatures needed for official candidacy. I paid the deposit,...
A little paranoid right now, not going to lie.
I was supposed to hang out a fair bit with my - how do the kids say?- “bestie” over the break but have only hung out once. I texted her yesterday asking to hangout and she said she wasn’t feeling well. Then, after I asked if she was okay, she told me she just wanted to go back to Montreal (where she goes to school) and when I asked...
If there is one thing I hate the most about the internet it’s people that harass others without any discernible reason.
Why do you not let others live their lives unhindered as we let you live yours?
i need someone right now.
(via screamingforsunlight)
Alan Harris from alanharris.tumblr.com.
If you need someone to talk to shoot me an email at alan.w.harris [at] gmail.com
1 tag
An admission
This is tough to post because there are only about 2 people that “know” this but…
I’m an asexual.
For those of you that don’t know what an asexual is, or how it applies to humans, it’s someone that either does not have a sexual orientation or does not have a sex drive. See there are the two groups as mentioned. Those that do not possess a sexual orientation...
1 tag
I’m going to get hate mail for this one…
Look, I know people have problems with the government restricting how many children families have (See: China) but…
I think we should stop the bleeding heart and face cold fact. If we don’t do something drastic like impose restrictions on how many children families are allowed having we will seriously strain our food and water...
Here’s a tip: Don’t listen to Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead and look at old high school photos of you and your best friend you’ve had feelings for for years.
Isn’t it interesting that we all congregate on this site and do not treat it like an anonymous shit flinger like most of the internet but instead a little community?
It would be quite easy for us to hide behind our little avatars and assume bizzaro personalities with which we become the evil we are all capable of. We instead opt to be ourselves, we interact with each other no differently...
dsfincannon:
feathermae:
dsfincannon:
samwisegamgee:
dsfincannon:
You hate Christians? Really?
Yes, really. Well, it’s a special type of hate where I can be your best friend still hate that you’re a Christian and tell you repeatedly. It’s not like I burn Christians at the stake. (It takes a Christian to do that).
I like when you lump us all together.
I like when you lump us all...
An admission
Several members of my “comedy” blog viewing audience have been curious as to my political affiliation. I admit, often times, it is quite hard to discern which theory I align myself with. However they’re curiosity is not directed at whether I am a liberal or a conservative but instead is directed at whether I am a socialist or not. They’re inquisitiveness began shortly after...
November 2009
40 posts
Oh hello, insomnia. How nice of you to drop by again.
My life is a tragic comedy.
Today I went to Toronto to go see Fantastic Mr Fox with Caelin (well, that was the plan…)
I wake up late and rush to the bus shelter so I don’t miss the bus. The bus blew right past me and I figure it must have been a bus out of service and continue to wait at the shelter until, 10 minutes before the next bus, it becomes painstakingly obvious that the bus...
Nothing that can even be considered interesting is going on in my life right now, so, you know, that’s why I haven’t posted here in a while.
Tomorrow is a work party. I don’t work there any more but everyone told me the party is in my honour. They’re bullshitting me, it’s just a ploy to get me to leave my house. Oh well, I’ll play along.
I figure tomorrow will...
What kind of bar doesn’t have Brandy!? Really!? FUCKIN’ REALLY?!
Scotch is alright, I guess… It’s no Brandy though!
Fuck these lectures, it’s grey and depressing outside so I’m going for a walk.
It really is much easier to Tumblr (Tumble?) than it is to read over lecture notes…
Damn you Tumblr! Damn you to… hey a picture of a cat!
Good evening ladies and gentlemen
As I have previously stated, Good evening ladies and gentlemen of Tumblr.
Now comes the obligatory “I’m drunk” post; a post I’ve often scoffed, yes, scoffed, at when other Tumblrs have created it previous. But my how things change when you are inebriated by the poison, hmm?
So, as already mentioned, I am drunk and quite so at that! It may shock you that my spelling and...
WOOOO WHOOOOO
Sorry… something really neato has happened.
I’m able to take courses through M.I.T. and I am very excited about this.
I haven’t been in school for 4 years so I’m a little scared and a lot intimidated by the load of work I’ll be doing. Psychology, philosophy and quantum physics.
You guys can start putting bets on how long you’ll think I’ll last, if...
Crazy Part 2?
fourandahalf:
Yup, some times ill be sitting there at a table, and ill take my empty glass and get up and fill my glass with water. Go sit back down at the table and go to take a sip of some nice cold water. but there inst any water in the glass, cause i never got up and filled the glass of water. Doesnt just happen like that, that would be an example. Longest one was one days that never...
Texas Accidentally Bans Straight Marriage - Newser →
deathbylandscape:
efilymsisiht:
sharklauncher:
The geniuses who wrote Texas’ gay marriage ban may have accidentally banned all marriage in the state, according to one Houston lawyer. Subsection B of the ban, a constitutional amendment ratified in 2005, states, “This state…may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.” The intent was to prevent even civil...
deathbylandscape:
Tom Waits - Two Sisters
...
Oh Toronto
I fell in love with Montreal but I went into the city (Toronto) yesterday and remembered why I love it. It may not have the wealth of culture that Montreal has but Toronto has a certain charm to it that I can’t quite pin down.
Also, crazed street people.
Oh, and I went to “tea” with someone quite interesting. I think y’all should follow her because she’s pretty...
@alanharris
rahrahrahweregoingtosmashtheoiks:
alansboring:
rahrahrahweregoingtosmashtheoiks:
alansboring:
rahrahrahweregoingtosmashtheoiks:
all i know is that i work really hard and i hope to reap the benefits. above people sit around and do nothing. im not hugely politically aware but thats fair, isnt it?
Fair that the upper class sit around and do nothing? I’m not quite sure what is mean’t by...
Socialism
Socialism doesn’t aim to take away from people; it doesn’t restrict people from bettering themselves or attaining higher positions in the workforce or in education; it doesn’t remove rewards for people that work hard. Socialism only serves to help those that are unable to help themselves, to help those so disadvantaged that getting ahead is a near impossibility.
Capitalism, the...
@alanharris
rahrahrahweregoingtosmashtheoiks:
alansboring:
rahrahrahweregoingtosmashtheoiks:
all i know is that i work really hard and i hope to reap the benefits. above people sit around and do nothing. im not hugely politically aware but thats fair, isnt it?
Fair that the upper class sit around and do nothing? I’m not quite sure what is mean’t by this.
While it is nice to reap the benefits of...
@alanharris
rahrahrahweregoingtosmashtheoiks:
all i know is that i work really hard and i hope to reap the benefits. above people sit around and do nothing. im not hugely politically aware but thats fair, isnt it?
Fair that the upper class sit around and do nothing? I’m not quite sure what is mean’t by this.
While it is nice to reap the benefits of labour, is it not also beneficial knowing...
haha remember cat vs shark?
I would be interested in knowing your reasons for supporting the capitalist society and free market we live in today.
haha remember cat vs shark?
rahrahrahweregoingtosmashtheoiks:
socialists vs capitalists
i form my poor arguments from definitions ive read n wikipedia and in reality know fuck all, but i do like to disagree with people so BRING IT
Capitalism, the way it is practiced in our society, only serves to harm those not in the upper class. It also breeds rampant consumerism which not only furthers to harm the working class...
Right, well, I posted a picture of my dog on my main blog but I’ll explain him here a little more.
That little gaffer is my little buddy. I’ve had him for 11 years now which is pretty crazy to think about because it doesn’t really seem that long. He’s in pretty good health for an old guy; he still plays with toys and runs around like a maniac. No grey hair to speak of,...
So
sibf:
Right after I pretty much cemented the fact that I am going to loose my job, I sat down to come up with the perfect description for my mother. I got to “bitter, resentful, heinous bitch who has spent the last 18 years perpetuating her second-hand guilt and obligation and revelling in her own victimisation and masochism” when the cat threw up on the floor. Of course, it goes without saying...
So, craziest thing in the world happened.
I decided to add a few more blogs to my follow role because a lot of the ones I previously followed didn’t update very often. In order to add more Canadian content to my dashboard, as per CRTC regulations, I went to the Tumblr Map and chose Toronto. I clicked on a dot which opened a window of about 40-50 Tumblr blogs. I picked three.
Out of those...
who's from near toronto and wants to come to a...
floatingintheblue:
alansboring:
floatingintheblue:
heldbywire & i are trying to plan one for the holidays this year :3
also, if you’re an old man, please don’t come. we can still be friends, but it’s just a little creepy, that’s all.
This is Alan from alanharris.tumblr.com.
Is 22 considered old man territory? If it is I’ll completely understand.
hahah i don’t think so. are you...